The Shoe On The Other Foot

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My kids spent a significant portion of their childhoods growing up in a little town in Idaho. It’s a lot smaller than Tikrit, or Basra or Helmand province, but little Idaho City and Boise County can serve as an illustration of a principle.

What principle?

Well, the principle of people of simple means resisting a massive foreign power that wants to control their local government and population by military force.

To illustrate the concept, I offer an interview with General Li Chen, Supreme Commander of the Chinese Red Army in Idaho.

General Chen, it’s been five years since the shock and awe campaign against Idaho and I’d like to ask you how we got to this point.

Well, as you know, for many years China had good relations with Idaho because the government was friendly to China and cooperated in supplying the potatoes, sugar beets and forest products needed to maintain our high standard of living in China. But In recent years Idaho began to want to sell these critical strategic resources to Canada and Mexico instead of to China. Soon, vital Chinese interests were in serious danger because of a hostile Idaho government. The China Intelligence Agency (CIA) took steps to change the government of Idaho and install local politicians friendly to Chinese interests in the region.

But the people of Idaho resented what they saw as interference from outsiders who didn’t understand American culture and the importance they place on political independence and freedom.

Yes, there were small factions of agitators in Idaho who stirred up anti-Chinese sentiment among the uneducated masses in Boise County. Over time they gained more influence and we had to take major steps to counter their efforts. After we installed a new Governor of Idaho and several key Idaho politicians, uprisings and illegal public protests began to occur. We helped train the Idaho police and provided military equipment and tactics to help crush the illegal protests but the the problems only grew worse.

Finally, the president of China authorized 50,000 Chinese troops on the ground to ensure order. Military bases were built in Garden Valley and elsewhere and we began a comprehensive program of search and destroy missions to discover where the insurgents were hiding and what weapons they were stockpiling.

But don’t most people in Boise County own firearms?

They were specifically told that firearms were now illegal and that any American males from the ages 12 to 70 were considered enemy combatants. And anyone, male or female, who possessed a firearm was a clear and direct threat to Chinese lives and subject to arrest and indefinite detention without trial. According to our Rules of Engagement anyone in Boise County with a firearm in their home, vehicle or on their person is a legitimate military target.

How did you gather intelligence amid people who clearly resented Chinese soldiers killing members of their community?

We found Americans who were sympathetic with the Chinese government and offered them $25,000 for the name and location of any terrorist insurgents holding weapons in their homes. It was a very successful program and thousands of firearms and terrorists were interdicted and imprisoned. Many were killed while resisting. Occasionally we were given the name of a high value target who was a prominent business owner or respected member of the local community. These were people who could organize resistance against our heroic Chinese soldiers.

What did you do with these high value targets?

Under our Rendition Program we would abduct them and fly them in private, unmarked aircraft to sites in North Korea and Venezuela for special interrogation. Under the legal provisions of the special interrogation program, the terrorists are beaten, confined in small enclosures, shackled into painful positions, water boarded and threatened with much worse until they eventually give us the names of other people in Boise County who are hostile to China and a legitimate threat to our soldiers on the ground.

The international community has criticized that program and characterized it as being illegal.

No. Senior lawyers for Chinese President Ming have determined the program is perfectly legal under Chinese law. There is no question about that. It’s 100% legal or China would not be doing it. China has always had the utmost respect for the rule of law. Everyone knows that. And many of these special interrogations are done by the North Koreans, not by Chinese intelligence personnel. North Korea also agrees the program is 100% legal.

But the program itself is still flawed.

It’s not perfect, but we’re dealing with terrorist insurgents with no respect for human life and we have to take whatever steps are necessary to protect Chinese lives on the ground in Idaho.

Under special interrogation we learned that three very high value targets were planning a secret meeting at Idaho City High School late at night. Our intelligence had a high degree certainty and a drone strike was ordered. The targets were at the high school but, as it turned out, they were there for a graduation ceremony and there were some collateral casualties in the air strike.

The local officials in Idaho City say 125 people were killed in that strike, including women and children.

No. Those reports are deeply flawed and unreliable. Our official Chinese State Department sources say only two civilians were killed. That’s unfortunate, but it falls well within acceptable limits under Chinese policy.

Is the drone campaign working?

Oh yes, our brave drone pilots can operate those aircraft from Shanghai and Guangzhou on a 24 hour basis and constantly watch everything happening throughout Boise County. We actually like it when we draw small arms fire from insurgents. They have inadequate weapons such as hunting rifles and we can detect the muzzle flash and immediately call in a withering air strike. These coward terrorists often shoot from residential areas using civilians as human shields, such is the disrespect for innocent human life among these savage Americans.

General Chen, when will China finally leave Boise County?

Well, it would be foolish to name a date because then the American terrorists would only have to hold out for one day longer than that date. We’ve built permanent military bases in Boise County and intend to keep at least 20,000 Chinese troops on the ground permanently to support the new Idaho government and to train American police to combat insurgents and root out pockets of deep resistance in areas like Clear Creek and Centerville and among the extremist Mormons who are well supplied, quite resourceful and very well organized.

Why do the American terrorists hate us, General Chen?

Well, there are several reasons.

First of all, these people are mostly devout Christians and if you know anything about the history of Christianity you know it’s been centuries of wars, crusades and internecine conflict between denominations. Most of these people believe the New Testament and there’s just no reasoning with them.

Secondly, they hate us for our superior form of government in China. They live in a system of constant political bickering between different parties and they hate China because we have a superior system of single party communism that has allowed us to have better lives, and the Americans are jealous, frankly.

And finally, the only thing Americans understand is force. If they don’t fear China they won’t do what needs to be done to protect China’s interests. There’s no reasoning with savages like that. In the end, they only respect force in that part of the world. The world is a very dangerous place and that’s just reality.

Do you think the animosity has anything to do with China killing over 100,000 Americans?

Hey, we didn’t want this war. If Idaho had continued to be cooperative with Chinese interests in the region instead of recklessly and selfishly defying Beijing and getting uncomfortably cozy with Canada and Mexico, there wouldn’t be a need for military action. For decades Idaho sold China its natural resources at low prices and always elected governments that were friendly to China. If they hadn’t listened to Christian troublemakers who wanted to openly oppose the wishes of Beijing, none of this would have happened. At the end of the day, my duty is saving Chinese lives and protecting the Chinese way of life.

The Chinese military is filled with patriotic men and women who risk their lives every day in hell holes like Robie Creek, Wilderness Ranch and Crouch so the Chinese people back home can live in peace and without fear of the terrorist insurgents living in Boise County who, believe me, want nothing more than to take their brand of American violence to the streets of Tianjin and Wuhan. If you love being Chinese and love the Chinese way of life, thank a Red Army veteran who served in Idaho!

Thank you, General Chen. You’re doing great work in Idaho and are a true patriot.

(So where are your sympathies? With the native population of Boise County who just want to run their own lives and government as they see fit – without fear of death from airstrikes or from fully equipped foreign soldiers on their streets? Or do you see “heroes” in the military superpower from the other side of the world that wants to build army bases and dictate economic and political terms to people in other countries while holding them at gunpoint? Are you with Idaho or China? Which one is in the wrong? Which one is engaging in terrorism*?)

*From Dictionary.com:(bold emphasis added)
 terrorism
 noun
 1.the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce, especially for political purposes.
 2.the state of fear and submission produced by terrorism or terrorization.
 3.a terroristic method of governing or of resisting a government.

2 Responses to The Shoe On The Other Foot

  1. H5mind December 22, 2014 at 10:08 AM #

    Very well done- how many Americans would be capable of such a simple thought experiment? I have tried to couch our foreign policiy in this way and people look at me as if I’m criminally insane. Like the end of Mark Twain’s ‘War Prayer’: “It was believed afterward that the man was a lunatic, because there was no sense in what he said.”

    • Pete Sisco December 22, 2014 at 11:21 AM #

      Thanks. It is like Twain’s War Prayer. Most people are perfectly conditioned to see conflict from the subjective point of view of their home State and rarely apply fundamental principles. Witness the recent enthusiasm for torture by the US public then ask yourself if they’d have thought Ho Chi Minh was right and justified to torture US Marines in Vietnam. After all, those Marines were a threat to the ‘homeland’ and to the safety of NVC lives.

      Same goes for Pol Pot and his torture victims.

      “But the USA only tortures for goodness and for freedom.” Haha! The mind boggles.

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